love Funny Status Messages

   says, Love your enemies. It will confuse them!..

   Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably sh!t.

   I'm amazed at how many people got engaged or married today. Love is truly in the air. Now if you'll excuse me, a Nigerian prince needs my help transferring funds.

   My girlfriend is so silly. I'm looking at her phone and she's been sending all these sweet love messages and sexts to the wrong number as I never got any of them.

   It's a damn shame when a man works hard all week then comes home for dinner and relaxation but has to work extra hard to get love and appreciation from his woman.

   Hey pistachio with the shell welded shut.. I know you've been hurt before, but I just want to love you... Let me in, Baby....

   I would love to put all the girls I slept with in one room to see if they can figure out what they all had in common

   Dear MacGuyver,,,I've enclosed a yoyo, three pennies, and mentos... Please save the rainforest.....Love, Snotty

   I love tequila because I like where I wake up to be a surprise.

   Love is best when it overflows freely from the heart, rather than you having to reach in to get your fill.

   Headed to the gym, and then to Taco Bell because I like to keep my body guessing if I love it or hate it.

   Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.

   love The beauty of vodka is that it looks like water. The beauty of the workplace is that water bottles are allowed

   I love Swamp people...."choot em, hurry choot em"

   Cats. Because why should conditional love only come from family?

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.

   I love it when a fat person says, "That's the way I roll."

   Would love to grab one of those San Fran NFC Championship T-shirts before they're shipped to Uganda.

   As I scroll through my FB feed this holiday season, I find myself overcome with emotion and love. And then I remember I've had a lot of tequila and eggnog and I pass out on the floor.

   I once asked an old man: Which is more important to love or to be loved? He replied: which is more important to a bird, the left wing or the right wing?