Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
US Open Woman's Tennis trophy. Made in the USA, now Canadian owned! 
Science....because the answer never turned out to be magic. Ever.
Bernie Sanders just used your $27 donations to buy himself a new summer home
Forgive me for saying this but if you like the Rolling Stones more than the Beatles we can't be friends.
Jesus is going to be much harder to find with all these hipsters running around.
Maybe the pipelines are not the most perfect way to turn our country green, but I'm certainly not going to be able to afford those solar panels if I'm paying $4.95 a gallon.
Pot Roast. Two of my favorite things.
(inventor of the ladder) I’m gonna french kiss that giraffe
Sorry I robbed a bank, stole a car and snorted cocaine officer, it was the Ambien.
If the baby ain't yo color, Ya ain't the Daddy Brotha !
If coffee was a drug, my last name would be Winehouse.
What has red hair, big feet, and lives in a test tube? Bozo the Clone.
Maybe if you didn't act like thuggish and lazy pieces of crap there wouldn't be a problem
When sone one yawns , do deaf people think they're screaming
"The Russians ate my homework" - High school Hillary
R.I.P. creator of the Big Mac, the most prolific serial killer of all time.
If I were to have one regret as a parent, it would be that I taught my kids how to talk..
The escalator at the gym is broken, this is BULlcrap.
"Sometimes I feel I don't belong here." Me, on planet earth
If hearts were made to be broken then so were faces. 