Prostitute Funny Status Messages

   Big win for the Catholic church as Pope Francis takes Time Magazine's person of the year barely edging out finalists tea bagger Ted Cruz, prostitute Miley Cyrus, and worst president since Jefferson Davis Barack Obama.

   (Q): What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife. (A): Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? A. He did okay until his business fell off.

   Whenever I see a Mattress on top of a car, I wonder to myself if its a prostitute makin house calls

   I want to set the record straight.....I thought the cop was a prostitute!!!!...lol

   When life gets too stressful, sometimes you need professional help. Hire a prostitute, they're highly-trained at stress release.

   There is a thin line between girlfriend allowance and a prostitute's fee. Jokes.

   Whats the difference between a wife and a prostitute? One's on contract,the other's pay-as-you-go.

   Just had sex with a Prostitute who had only one eye. Told her I might see her again. She said shed keep an eye out for me.

   Last Halloween night while at a bus stop. I saw a priest, a nun and a prostitute pass buy. Still don't know if they were wearing a costume for Halloween or not.

   Strawberry pancakes are just like regular pancakes but they got arrested for coke possession and picking up a prostitute in 1999.

   chinese calendar year of the cow . . .we had mad cow disease.Year of the bird . . .we had avian flu.This year its the year of the tiger...and well we have tiger woods' 'am not a prostitute,am just a sex addict' disease.Hope our women understand.

   Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call

   If a prostitute gets pregnant from a client, can she call the National Accident Helpline?

   how can you tell a japanese prostitute from the others?..she is the one in the fish nets

   If I was a college professor, I would give bad grades to the girls I wanted to screw. I'm sure 90% of them would prostitute in exchange for an "A"

   Look, if I thought my feelings needed to be spared I would've just went to a prostitute and saved myself the effort!

   There's a secret apartment at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Oui, Oui, this is where I plan to meet a French prostitute the next time I visit Paris.

   And then there was the blind prostitute. You really have to mouth* it to her....

   An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested in New Jersey over the weekend. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.