santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always thought my dad was great when I was growing up, he always got so pissed off every year when santa didnt bring me presents. I felt so lucky to be his son.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
←Rate | 09-27-2014 15:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide whether The Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie.
←Rate | 10-26-2011 17:38 by @OMFG_Rel8able Comments (0)  


   messageicon hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are three stages in a person's life: You believe in Santa Claus; you don't believe in Santa Claus; you are Santa Claus.
←Rate | 07-04-2009 05:15 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
←Rate | 06-19-2011 21:27 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(
←Rate | 12-24-2010 16:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
←Rate | 11-03-2011 10:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♪ ♫ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-12-2011 07:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wants a dirty picture of you so I can add it to my Xmas wishlist to send to Santa
←Rate | 10-30-2010 21:10 by Elbow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
←Rate | 12-18-2013 07:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna laugh 2 years from now when all of those people who thought the world was gonna end on Dec. 22, 2012 realize that they are still gonna have to go out and buy Christmas presents.....
←Rate | 01-17-2010 02:11 by Ginger C. Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings
←Rate | 04-21-2012 05:41 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:59 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause
←Rate | 11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for half an hour...
←Rate | 12-18-2013 22:37 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering: Horse? Catapult? Tooth Fairy? Santa?
←Rate | 04-17-2011 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  


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