santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
←Rate | 12-29-2009 09:00 by Brades Comments (0)  


   messageicon What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
←Rate | 12-24-2010 07:09 by will Comments (2)  


   messageicon Santa calls me a Ho three times when he sees me. Like he knows me or somethin...
←Rate | 12-08-2010 16:59 by @Torren_T Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a telemarketer calls give the phone to your 3 yr old, and tell them its Santa Clause
←Rate | 11-22-2011 18:33 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you're parents accuse you of lying to them, just look them in the eye and say; SANTA CLAUSE! EASTER BUNNY! TOOTH FAIRY!"
←Rate | 05-11-2011 23:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I returned an online purchase and the form said for your security, please use Fedex, UPS, USPS, DHL or Parcel Post. Exactly what other options do they think I'm considering: Horse? Catapult? Tooth Fairy? Santa?
←Rate | 04-17-2011 16:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about partaking in the secret santa at work means I can finally give one special lady the mustache trimmer she so desperately needs.
←Rate | 11-25-2011 16:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a merry Christmas... poor guy... :-(
←Rate | 12-24-2010 16:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon trying to think of a good way to show off to everyone the superman underwear I got for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-31-2010 03:15 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hors d'oevures now there is a word that snooty people like to use regularly, most of us just say "snacks" and we survive the holidays just fine.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 01:21 by smeebert Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so nice having my family around for the holidays. It really makes me appreciate their absence the rest of the year.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 02:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Won a $50 gift card to Chili's at Christmas raffle. In other news, decided my secret santa is getting a $14.37 gift card to Chili's for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 17:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to go out and pretend I'm putting up Christmas lights I never took down from last year.
←Rate | 10-29-2011 14:39 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear retail stores. August 21st is too damn early for Christmas decorations. Take them down. Now.
←Rate | 08-21-2013 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's a good Christmas gift for the woman who already has everything except morals?
←Rate | 11-15-2012 13:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!
←Rate | 12-15-2010 07:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the official day for guys to start Christmas shopping!!!!
←Rate | 12-23-2014 11:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get "drunk" during the holidays I get "festive".
←Rate | 12-09-2013 14:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First you have to tell 'em Santa's not real. Then you have to tell 'em Nicki Minaj is real.. ..no wonder the kids are confused.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 13:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term 'Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
←Rate | 12-03-2016 16:22 by McFazzella Comments (0)  



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