Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   whoever said Kentucky can beat an NBA team needs to go hide under a rock..

   loves when people just click the 'like' button on a thread of comments cause they're too lazy to add another comment

   Children grow up so fast. One day they're taking their 1st steps, the next they're taken away after a judge rules you're a negligent parent.

   HAH....the radio just said it's Rosie O'Donnell's 49th birthday..... And here I thought he was more like 60 !.... just sayin'

   LeBron travels like crazy and never gets called on it. He's comes from near the 3 point line, doesn't dribble the ball at all, then does the lay up for the score. They should show the Heat games on the Travel Channel.

   I tried to commit suicide last night. I won't be trying that again I nearly died.

   toooo many Debbie Downers on facebook...wah, my life sucks, wah, my husband died ,wah, I burned dinner...

   You're so vain, I'll bet you think this post is about you, don't you? don't you?

   Everyone makes mistakes, accept for me.

   Spandex: a Right, not a Privilege.

   dude, where's my government

   New Presidential Executive Order: All DNC Trolls must now only fly United Airlines

   Having a search warrant is not a break in .

   Why are they called ‘school gym clothes’ and not ‘class action suits’?

   George W said he spoke with Osama, and Osama said he didn't do it.

   A three-legged dog walks into an Old West saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my Paw!"

   In the 2020 election, remember... Bernie is with her...

   Fidget Spinners: Is that like really small women with Turetts Syndrome?

   The scariest US president was Rushmore, because he had 4 heads

   Remember the time when you said that you hire the best people, then all those people went to prison? That was awesome!