trump Funny Status Messages

   Accidentally pressed 2 for Spanish and Donald Trump's security team came out of nowhere to deport me.

   Donald Trump formally announces Mike Pence as is VP pick. No word yet on if he plans on leaving him for a younger, prettier running mate.

   Donald Trump is having Tim Tebow speak at the Republican National Convention. I'm confused. I thought he didn't like losers.

   I'm beginning to think Donald Trump is considering gathering all of his Vice Presidential candidates together in a secret place and have them fight to the death to prove their loyalty?

   Hey Bernie supporters, Trump will get you a better job while Hillary will only raise your taxes.

   Problem with voting for Trump is that you don't know what you're going to get. Problem with Hillary is that you do.

   Donald Trump in 2008: "Well, I know Hillary Clinton and she'd make a good president or good vice president." Then why does Trump support corrupt people?

   Donald Trump celebrated Free Slurpee Day by honoring those brave souls who died on 7/11.

   Mexico's president says that there is "no way" his country would ever pay for a wall between it and the United States. We are now waiting for Donald Trump's stupid response to this....

   If Trump builds a wall do the gays get to decorate it?

   "Only my life matters." -Donald Trump

   Your credit history may be a determining factor when applying for a loan or to be a future Trump supporter.

   The FBI recommends no charges be filed against Hillary Clinton. My next question is, when will Donald Trump be indicted and for what?

   Voting for Hillary because you don't like Trump, is like eating a dog turd because you don't like broccoli....

   Hillary should be indicted. Trump will do something where he should be indicted. We're screwed. Eat Oreos.

   Donald Trump promises to defend article 12 of the Constitution after confusing for bankruptcy chapters.

   Hey Trump: As a guy who owns a bunch of casinos, maybe you're not the right person to tell us how certain things are "rigged."

   "On a scale of 9 to 10, how delicious are Trump's steaks?" -The one and only question asked to potential VP candidates by Trump's vetting team.

   Let me sum up the next few months: 1) Trump says and/or does something stupid. 2) Taylor Swift breaks up. 3) Enjoy your summer!

   Trump In 1776: Women love me because they'll be hung by a rope in the town square if they declare otherwise.