Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sociologists say San Francisco's birth rate is projected to decline sharply in the next decade. I'm actually rather surprised San Francisco has a birth rate.
←Rate | 12-12-2010 12:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheer up Prince Charles! They only vandalised your car with a bit of white paint. It's not like they deliberately chased your car into a tunnel during the night and murdered you.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 03:44 by lemonpillow Comments (7)  


   messageicon "Do they know it's christmas time at all?" Yeah they should. They made most of the presents.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 09:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing like a visit from an out of town friend to point out how little I actually know about the city I live in.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 18:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When they're not fighting or racing light cycles, I'll bet the citizens of TRON spend a lot of time on the phone with tech support" -Conan OBrien
←Rate | 12-20-2010 14:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
←Rate | 12-20-2010 14:04 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon An office Christmas party is not a good time to ask the boss for a raise. Wait until the next day when you have pictures.
←Rate | 12-21-2010 15:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Local girl Joanna Mow leaps to her death on her birthday... Your middle name wouldn't be Ronny would it ,Jo?
←Rate | 12-21-2010 16:05 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I'll drink the red
←Rate | 12-24-2010 13:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't been to work in four days. I've almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper.
←Rate | 12-27-2010 10:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
←Rate | 12-28-2010 11:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I sleep on my side, do the "ZZZZs" turn into "NNNNs" ?
←Rate | 01-09-2011 13:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say “Didn't you read my statuses?”
←Rate | 01-09-2011 13:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Legally,It's questionable. Morally,It's disgusting. Personally,I like it.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 15:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tYp3 LyK tHi5 cuz i'm cool, No..you type like that because you failed English Now go to preschool and ‘Type like this.'
←Rate | 01-11-2011 09:57 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 10:01 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Did you hear about the new Austalian diet? It's called Swim Fast.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 03:42 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:14 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon The reason I'm single? She wouldn't marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn't marry her when I was sober.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you spell "clitoris"? I don't know but I had it on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:05 by lemonpillow Comments (5)  




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