Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Roger Ebert just gave his doctors two thumbs down...

   A wheel works. A wall works. To bad you don't work.

   The sooner you realize a min wage job is a starting point and not a career, the better off you (and America) will be!

   Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

   and took him out. This is NOT an Obama victory, but an AMERICAN victory!!

   If I give you a nickel will you tickle my pickle

   ATTENTION: Law Enforcement Officials need everyone's help!!! Police are searching for a thief who splashes gasoline on his victims and then robs them by threatening them with a lighted match. The Authorities want to catch him before he strikes again.

   Filipinos: The Mexicans of the Asian Race

   Say no to commercialized enterprise Christianity.

   You're telling me that not one person in that entire club thought to hide in the closet?

   I googled "white nfl players arrested", it showed me a black guy

   Remember girls your mouth can't get pregnant.

   RIP 2012 (2012-2012)

   Did Obama really sign a bill in secret making free speech illegal during protests???? So the first amendment is almost gone. Liberty is truly dying by the months.

   I think that Americans should be less concerned about Donald Trump's hair, and more concerned with the screw that came loose underneath it.

   Dang it,I went to the dog park this morning and accidentally stepped in a pile of Hillary.

   Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?

   You remember the good ol days when you used to get mad at someone if they didn't have you as a friend on their top Myspace list?

   The fastest way to stop "terrorism" is to stop screwing around with other peoples countries.

   Watching my favorite show. "Keeping Up With Obamas Lies"