Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Someone should come up with a cell phone charger extention cord. 
Hopefully, if there's any justice in the world, Zuckerberg will be seeing some jail time. What goes around, comes around, eh Zuck?
If I was a reporter in Syria, I'd beheading home right now.
Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing it's idiot
NASCAR - National Association of Stupid Cars And Rednecks
When OBAMA said he is going to get the jobs back from China were the jobs swimming back to America, because it is taking awhile
drawing graffiti on his wall "▄█▀ █▬█ █ ▀█▀". What do you think?
The status you are trying to read cnnot be wiewed from your current country or location.
counting it down..only 54749 days until Bernie Madoff gets out of Jail.
When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers
wondering how much of a carbon footprint Nancy Pelosi et al left in Copenhagen and how much we taxpayers will have to pay for it!
Eight hundred pairs of underwear were stolen from a clothing store today. The police are making a brief inquiry
Its very ironic how Toyota's slogan is "Moving Forward!"
I still miss my ex – But guess what? My Aim is getting better
Where were all the Kwanzaa ads for Black Friday?
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit por
I think it was Confucius who said "I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning. I have an appetite for sex 'cause me so horny."
1) Go to Google 2) Type : mov0001.swf 3) Click on the first link
It'd be really weird if animals were like pokemon in that they said their names instead of making sounds. So instead of going "Meow" a cat would walk around going "CAAAAAAT CAAAAAT! CATCATCATCAT!"
Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk. 