love Funny Status Messages

   Might love you quicker if you bring me more Liquor.

   It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

   My love life is so boring that Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore are going to make a movie about it.

   You'd think after the 37th take, the director would have realized I was messing up the love scene on purpose. Hey, times are hard. I'll take it where I can get it these days.

   Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back

   Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you'll love my farts.

   Hey couples who write on each others Facebook walls, NO ONE cares how much you love each other, so cut it out!

   Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of parallel lines, who were never meant to meet. Of tangent lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of asymptotes, who could only get closer and closer, but never could be together.

   ME: "I wanted to marry you but my family members refused: HER: "Who are they to deny our love?" ME: "My wife and 2 kids"

   Just texted my wife "goodnight sweetheart, I love you" but accidentaly sent it to my boss, which is awkward because he likes to hold my hand in meetings.

   I love that video where Justin Bieber swings back and forth on a wrecking ball in his panties.

   love and expectations are inversely proportional

   I'm at that very brief period of drunk right now where I love my life and everybody in it.

   We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.

   8yrs ago my wife decided to keep me when nobody else would. I bet she regrets that at least every other day. I definitely got the better half of the deal. Happy Anniversary Honey. Love you lots. And a special thanks to you, Facebook for reminding me;)

   I love Easter. My unborn children get to play find the egg tonight.

   When I was 18, I really thought I was in love. So, I asked my grandfather. ‘ is love real?' And he said, 'No. But herpes is, so watch your ass.'

   You can love your country without having to love your government.

   Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.

   For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid