Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
You know the economy is bad when black folks can't afford to talk during a movie. 
Barack Obama: The first black man in history to prove that he DID do the killing.
shooting Hoops. (Hoops is my neighbor's annoying dog that likes to crap on my lawn.)
The sexual position 69 will now be known as 96, due to the economy, it now cost more to eat out.
lmaoo.. I hate when people say, "i gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face?
Magic Mike...50 Shades of Grey...I knew I should have bought stock in Duracell this year.
In Honor Of Tonight's Debate, I Will Be Making "Obama Rolls".... They Consist Of A lot Of Hot Air, And Full Of Sh*t!
Why do men complain about women nagging when it could all be solved so easily? DO IT THE FIRST TIME WE ASK!
I believe in our constitution and what America was founded on, and as an Outdoorsmen and gun owner.. Romney/Ryan have my support.
Since President Obama had to show his birth certificate... I am going to need Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann to show me a copy of their HS diploma... Because I have doubts..
Black p eople weren’t good at SIMS cus they were unfamiliar with the “raise a family/feed a dog” lifestyle that’s why they created GTA.
Robin Williams dies and suddenly Facebook is full of people with medical & psychology degrees
s(HE) be(LIE)ve(D)
women are good for 70 things. cleaning house, and 69
The most romantic way to have sex with a girl is to t!tty f#ck her, because that's when you're closest to her heart.
Duchess Kate, Ima let you finish, but the Virgin Mary had the greatest Royal Baby of all time.
I WILL BE COMPLETELY HONEST FOR 24 HOURS...You can ask me 1 question (only in my INBOX). Any question, no matter how crazy, sinister or wrong it is. You have my FULL honesty, but I DARE you to put this text on your status and see what questions you get!!
"Wake Me Up When September Ends"
has been celebrating Columbus Day by walking into my neighbors homes and telling them that I live there now.........
set my phone to "Airplane Mode" and it told me not to call it Shirley. 