father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Women are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
←Rate | 08-19-2015 17:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you look in the mirror & say Candyman 3 times, my father will appear & tell you that you're getting fat.
←Rate | 07-04-2015 23:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Father's Day....the most confusing day in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-22-2015 14:14 by CWW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
←Rate | 06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, God!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 17:42 by guest-TJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, Bruce Jenner!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 15:42 by Afrique18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What an idiot that Maury is, inviting me onto his "Father's Day DNA special"..... I don't even have any kids.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 12:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, Caitlyn Jenner!!!!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 11:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's almost noon and still nobody has peeled me a grape. Worst. Father's Day. Ever.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 03:32 by DeeX Comments (0)  

   messageicon Star Wars (1977) An epic tale of a pair of gay robots teamed up with incestous siblings to help them destry their father's midlife crisis toy.
←Rate | 06-17-2015 15:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon With summer in full swing and Father's Day just 41 days away, CVS in Baltimore has all of your sunscreen and Father's Day card needs covered.
←Rate | 05-11-2015 17:45 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon A friend who just returned from a visit to the recently looted CVS in Baltimore said all that was left in the entire store was suntan lotion and Father's Day cards...
←Rate | 05-11-2015 17:21 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Take the name of your first pet and add the street that your first pet got ran over on to get your step father's Tinder name.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 13:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job but when I got home all the signs were there.
←Rate | 01-15-2015 13:20 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I met my ex-girlfriend’s son today and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father.
←Rate | 01-01-2015 15:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a guy on Maury found out he was not the father and said "it dont take blood to be a daddy" but actually it does. all dads have to have blood
←Rate | 12-27-2014 07:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  

   messageicon Not to victim-blame, but maybe Bruce Wayne’s father shouldn’t have brought his wife and 8 yr old son to a place called Crime Alley.
←Rate | 09-21-2014 13:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A 4 year old black boy was brutally beaten by his father. Where's your outrage black community??
←Rate | 09-17-2014 10:45 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Forgive them father for they are not civilized or educated.
←Rate | 08-29-2014 00:31 Comments (0)  

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