father OR dad Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Huge spoiler here....... Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. I know, right?!?!?
←Rate | 12-19-2015 08:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth!
←Rate | 11-21-2015 13:07 by @kalleygirl Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader, after Luke won the lottery.
←Rate | 11-19-2015 07:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been 35 years since my last confession, and I only ended up here because I thought it was the bathroom...Amen
←Rate | 11-06-2015 13:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people don't realize that Shania Twain's father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
←Rate | 10-23-2015 23:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you'll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
←Rate | 08-19-2015 17:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you look in the mirror & say Candyman 3 times, my father will appear & tell you that you're getting fat.
←Rate | 07-04-2015 23:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Father's Day....the most confusing day in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-22-2015 14:14 by CWW Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
←Rate | 06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, God!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 17:42 by guest-TJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, Bruce Jenner!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 15:42 by Afrique18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What an idiot that Maury is, inviting me onto his "Father's Day DNA special"..... I don't even have any kids.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 12:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Father's Day, Caitlyn Jenner!!!!
←Rate | 06-21-2015 11:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's almost noon and still nobody has peeled me a grape. Worst. Father's Day. Ever.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 09:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 03:32 by DeeX Comments (0)  

   messageicon Star Wars (1977) An epic tale of a pair of gay robots teamed up with incestous siblings to help them destry their father's midlife crisis toy.
←Rate | 06-17-2015 15:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon With summer in full swing and Father's Day just 41 days away, CVS in Baltimore has all of your sunscreen and Father's Day card needs covered.
←Rate | 05-11-2015 17:45 by John Y Comments (0)  

   messageicon A friend who just returned from a visit to the recently looted CVS in Baltimore said all that was left in the entire store was suntan lotion and Father's Day cards...
←Rate | 05-11-2015 17:21 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Take the name of your first pet and add the street that your first pet got ran over on to get your step father's Tinder name.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 13:37 Comments (0)  

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