Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 2976 of 6446

"What have I done?!! Everybody run!!" -Inventor of the boomerang

I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything and Yahoo is a Male , pointless and never works ..
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06-28-2011 19:46 by Danny
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There's a reason Congress begins with the word con. Con is the oppsosite of pro, so Congress must be the opposite of progress.
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07-22-2011 23:09
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My mum told me once that she judges how good a film is by the number of tissues she gets through....funny really, I have the same system

Wish Adam would have spent more than just a rib.....

Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
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06-19-2011 12:40
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I've never seen Scarface, but I have quoted the "little friend" line at some really inappropriate times.

discovered today that goldfish do not like jello.
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01-28-2011 13:59 by jack
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Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened to someone else and you have the photos you can upload and tag them in on Facebook.
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01-31-2011 09:46
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The hardest question of the weekend...can or bottle?
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02-04-2011 02:02 by JimJR89
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The wife is playing Wii table tennis and screaming at the TV. The kids are hiding in their room. LMAO!
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02-05-2011 11:41
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I wish Google knew if he still loved me..
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02-19-2011 13:00
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This weekend: The Oscars, who will make the best dressed list? Who cares? The question I want answered is who will make the best undressed list!
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02-25-2011 06:44
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I think I may have misunderstood my boss when she told me that she loved seeing me hard at work.
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02-26-2011 17:22
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If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.
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03-01-2011 04:14 by RoN
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Grand Theft Auto is the only sourse in which I am able to express myself freely without any consequences
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03-04-2011 19:48
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I think women are born with the right to warm their cold toes on men.
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10-11-2011 10:21 by flinnie
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its National Coming Out Day. What ever you do don't take that call from Grandma. Trust Me on this.
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10-11-2011 19:14 by the FRED
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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

Procrastinators unite!…Tomorrow..
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04-27-2011 00:54 by Usucknoob
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