Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   running out of places to hide the bodies...

   Schizophrenic, and so am I.

   People say that love is in every corner I must be walking in circles!

   Yeah, yeah the Greeks "invented" sex. But we Italians introduced it to women.

   A sign outside a brothel… “Married men are not allowed, we are here to serve the needy not the greedy.”

   not my name

   I ain't voting for Monica Lewinskys ex-boyfriends wife.

   Your Fat! and I'm not gonna sugar coat it cause you will eat that too!!!

   It would be a hoot if Hillary becomes president and then appoints Obama to the US Supreme Court

   Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...

   I miss the days when people’s biggest concern was Marilyn Manson.

   Call me old fashioned, but I don't want anything to do with a woman that can't lick her own nipples

   Due to the fear of a nip slip during the Madonna halftime show, NBC will only be filming her from the waist up. 

   Miracle birth AND resurrection! Making Frosty the Snowman my personal savior.

   You can't prove Jesus wasn't a T-Rex either.

   Sleepy Joe Administration Won’t Allow National Day Of Prayer To Be Held At US Capitol This Year. what a dum arse

   Telling an atheist to respect your religion is like telling a black person to respect the KKK.

   Once you go black you never go back..... Wait thats not right its...... Once you go black you want your test results back..... Or was it ... Once you go black your babys' on crack ... no no actually it was ... Once you go black you want your dignity back

   cute but psycho..things even out

   playing strip monopoly with a Russian sailor and a midget called Greg