Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   [This post has been removed for breaking facebook community guidelines]

   likes big butts and he cannot lie

   Just once I'd like to hear Obama say "Niga Please"

   When are we gonna snap on these blakk cokksuckers?

   Why is it called a bull riding “accident” when the bull ends up hurting the rider? If someone strapped a rope around my nuts, wanted a piggy back ride, then proceeded to spur my ass, my wanting to f*ck them up would be no accident.

   For Halloween I'm going to wear a pacman suit and chase Muslim women in burkas around the town centre.

   why are all black men fast??..... because all the slow ones are in prison

   going crazy...Want to come?

   S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life

   3 Tampons are walking down the street, Maxi, Slim, and Ultra. Which one says "Hello"? None, they're all stuck up c**ts!!!

   I'll bet the people who voted for Joe Biden are turning over in their graves right now.

   will no longer be posing nude for money..

   if I was a squirrel, and you were a tree I would store my nuts in your hole.

   If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High?

   on Team Conan.

   doesn't want you to be upset that I want to punch you in the face, be flattered that I want to touch you at all.

   Rejection doesn't hurt, expectation does. Lie doesn't kill, denial does. "Forget" doesn't heal, "forgive" does.

   Justin Bieber nominated 4 two Grammys? Well, you go girl.

   RIP Jack LaLanne: Will he be buried, cremated or juiced?

   These ‘energy saving' light-bulbs are rubbish. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.