Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hillary's poll numbers are dropping faster than Bill Clinton's pants in an Arkansas trailer park

   R.I.P. Janet Reno. But at least she'll still be voting for Hillary.

   ..... "The system is rigged!!!" ------ Hillary Clinton.

   This, too, shall suck.

   Due to political correctness, "rapists" will now be called "unapproved lovers."

   Hey, To all of you folks planning to move to Canada because Trump won the Presidency....If you're an alcoholic and cannot mulitply by 10 we do not want you.

   I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa....Well I think it is a scam!!! Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving!!!!

   Good lord if you just have to reissue a 20 year old joke, at least get the punchline correct. It's Kareema Wheat, not Kareem of Wheat. God Almighty!

   Would it be smart for a department store to promise “we won’t check to see if you paid!” .... I wonder how long they would stay in business? .... Anyways, That's how the American Voter registration works.

   Now Falcons fans feel like Hillary supporters felt like on election night

   uh excuse me, I'm just here looking for the Democratic Restroom.

   Donald and Melania Trump reportedly sleep in separate bedrooms. That's a good idea, Melania's crying keeps Donald awake at night.

   I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out

   Women spend their whole lives thinking they are fat when they are perfect. Men spend their lives thinking they are perfect even when they are Fat !

   Dr. Fauci said we must limit stores to 10 looters at a time.

   what number do I text my ten votes to??

   I'd only consider running at night because frankly I'd rather be found dead in a ditch than have anybody see me running.

   Hahahaha!!! Pour me some more Champagne! Fuck!n' A! WOO HOO! YAY! YAY! ~Little Debbie

   I am as messed up as the alphabetical order on a keyboard.

   Instead of getting married, I'm just gonna cut through all the other stuff and just buy someone I hate a house, and give them half my stuff.