Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won't. 
Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
Here's a bright idea ..... How about coming up with some Comprehensive Common Sense Terrorist Control instead of the same old talking points?
Trump and Hillary are on the same plane. Plane crashes, who survives? America
319 million people in the US and somehow after an exhaustive search we ended up with Trump and Hillary! So .... I guess if you want a leader that is full of corruption and deceit you know which one to vote for. Or vote for the other one.
Hey parents: I haven't seen one medal awarded at the Olympics for participation.
Hmmmmmm ..... One says nasty words ........ The other does Nasty things. I wonder which one would hurt you most.
Hey I got a novel idea, if it takes 14 days Coronavirus to start showing symptoms how about we all stay at home for 14 days!
Whose got two big strong hands? Asking for a friend on National No Bra day?
Apparently, autocorrect wants me to get my shirt together.
Happy TR'HUMP' Day!
Why did you go and make Trump President? Now Kanye West has a chance to become president next.
IKEA employees are just the souls of previous shoppers that couldn't find the exit
it OK to cut in front of someone wearing all Camouflage?
How to make your own holy water. Step1 take a 2qt pot and fill with water. Step 2 place on burner. Step 3 turn burner on high. Step 4 boil the hell out of the water.
With the gas price so high, it's cheaper to do cocaine and just run everywhere
I went to view a house on a Native American reservation!
"I like it" I said "Does it come with running water?"
"Go to Hell Paleface" He replied.."Get your own wife!"
I think my car needs wheel alignment because it’s keeps going towards the liquor store
The Lion King is probably my favorite children’s movie about running away from your problems until you’re strong enough to kill your uncle.
Breaking: Elmo taking over as the "special teams" coach at Penn. State! 