Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Obama, He's over in Kenya lecturing them on Gay rights, but three days ago ISIS threw two men from a roof and then stoned them to death for being gay and he never said a word

   When your drunk, leftovers aren't so bad....... this may or may not be about food.

   I don't blame Trump for speaking via Twitter. Far better to speak directly to the people than through a biased media who twists his every word.

   Women go for bad boys then wonder why they get hurt, afterwards the good guys are forced to repair a broken heart they didn't even cause

   I love seeing all these tolerant people bashing religion!

   Check One : [] single [] taken [X] climbin in yo window, snatchin yo people up.

   I'm looking forward to the day when Jesus points to me, and turns to our Father and says, "This one is mine!"

   Has anyone thought about the fact that Mr.KRABS lives in BIKINI BOTTOM?

   moving the furniture out of the room because the dog and I are going to breakdance battle...oh it is ON!!!!

   Don't get me wrong, I believe in God. I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

   Once you go black, the white man don't want you back !

   calculating the cost of a train ride to Hawaii

   Daylight Saving Time starts this evening, turn your clocks back and change batteries in smoke alarms.

   Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.

   Do you think the guy that invented the vibrator heard voices saying. "If you build it...they will come"?

   The grammy aint for b lacks. You got BET and Soul Train Awards.

   "When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it."

   Women are only terrible at parking because we're constantly being lied to about what 9 inches is

   "Hi" "Hi" "Did you eat?" "Did you eat?" "Are you copying me?" "Are you copying me?" "I love you!" "Yeah, I ate already.."

   I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?