Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Seems the same people saying Trump is a bad choice, is the same people who said Obama was a good choice.

   "Too many freaks, not enough circuses"

   Getting a fat girl drunk is expensive, it's like filling up a Winnebago with super unleaded.

   ‎31 States, 1618 Languages, 6 Major Religions, 29 National Festivals, 1 Country!! Happy Independence Day INDIA!!!

   ♫ ♫ My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?♫ ♫ Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard... ♫ ♫

   Note to women: Its not that difficult to put the seat down if its left up.

   Clinton says "How high do you have to build a wall to keep out the internet?" She's nuts comparing the internet to illegal immigrants. God help us.

   Privilege is having a national college fund that supports only your race.

   You know you're in a blue state when a no kill animal shelter is on the same block as the abortion clinic.

   Misconduct, Malfeasance and Dereliction of Duty: These are the Qualifications of Hillary Clinton for President. Is this really what you want in the Office of the President?

   Welfare is intended to help the needy not to become a carreer

   The news is reporting we had 100,000 new coronavirus cases in our country. Not sure what you're talking about "magically disappearing"

   Who needs Ringling Bros. when we have the White House.

   I had the right to remain silent...but I didn't have the ability.

   Why is it you never crave Chick-Fil-A until it's Sunday...the one day they're NOT open?

   Like a lot of men, this gum has severely understimated how long it will last.

   Note to self condoms are NOT Machine Washable

   bored, tell me a secret below. I won't tell anyone, I promise.

   wondering what's the appropriate amount of time to wait, before it's okay to punch somebody for saying "Happy New Year"...apparently I started too soon...