Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Lick the alphabet. Yea, you know what I am talking about, don't even lie.

   How is gun control working in Chicago?

   Women are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to buy them, a club to kill them and a spade to bury them

   brought to you by Summers Eve. When your situation down south makes him breathe through his mouth.

   A man gets on a plane with 6 kids. The flight attendant asks, "Are these your kids?" The man replies, " no, I work for Trojan and these are customer complaints!"

   Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game.

   Seems the same people saying Trump is a bad choice, is the same people who said Obama was a good choice.

   "Too many freaks, not enough circuses"

   Getting a fat girl drunk is expensive, it's like filling up a Winnebago with super unleaded.

   ‎31 States, 1618 Languages, 6 Major Religions, 29 National Festivals, 1 Country!! Happy Independence Day INDIA!!!

   ♫ ♫ My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?♫ ♫ Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard... ♫ ♫

   Note to women: Its not that difficult to put the seat down if its left up.

   Clinton says "How high do you have to build a wall to keep out the internet?" She's nuts comparing the internet to illegal immigrants. God help us.

   Privilege is having a national college fund that supports only your race.

   You know you're in a blue state when a no kill animal shelter is on the same block as the abortion clinic.

   Misconduct, Malfeasance and Dereliction of Duty: These are the Qualifications of Hillary Clinton for President. Is this really what you want in the Office of the President?

   Welfare is intended to help the needy not to become a carreer

   The news is reporting we had 100,000 new coronavirus cases in our country. Not sure what you're talking about "magically disappearing"

   Who needs Ringling Bros. when we have the White House.

   I had the right to remain silent...but I didn't have the ability.