Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Biden's son, another example of someone out douching their douchey parent

   Just saw the fattest Dalmation ever. It was huge & had these teats that were almost touching the ground & it made a weird bark, like "moo"

   I can't wait for Taylor Swift to break up with a black guy, so she can write a rap album!

   With all the seriousness going on in the world, its imperative I let you know that a sex addict can always beat his addiction

   OMG you guys!. I Almost hit a jogger while I was taking a selfie and driving today... So please you guys, be careful,,, do NOT jog.

   Tis' far better to have lobsters on your piano,than crabs on your organ.

   we can find old Atari games in a landfill but we can't find an AIRPLANE!?!?

   Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders should put their heads together and figure out a way to give everyone free college and make Mexico pay for it.

   Did you know that "vegan" is short for "joyless judgmental twat"?

   The only way Kyle Rittenhouse loses his case is if the judge allows the jury to mail in their verdict

   Wondering why the American government has been spending millions of tax payers money on building massive underground bunkers, tunnel systems and strange prison like camps all over your country. Sincerely: Your concerned friends north of the border

   When people tell me I can't do something, I prove them wrong by complaining about it on Facebook.

   pretty sure the people who dislike the popular posts are gothic kids that just want to be different.

   I could care less about Kim Kardashians wedding, the size of her ring or the size of her @ss!

   Dear Every Rapper Alive, The same word used in consecutive sentences is not a rhyme, it is the same word used in consecutive sentences... Please Lil Wayne and Drake, work on that... thanks, Dave :-)

   That Wiener story just keeps getting bigger and bigger...

   Dear women::: Would it kill you to have a beer and watch the game instead of nagging..!!!!!

   Tequlia DOES make her clothes fall off! Okay, she passed out and somehow they "fell" off, but still.

   I'm sorry I ran over your dog but in my defense I was texting! You're being awfully judgemental for someone who can't even see.

   thanks to the economy, instead of USA its been renamed to IOUSA.