Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If there are ice cream vans in the summer, why cant we have Starbucks vans in the winter?
←Rate | 02-09-2011 18:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 12:27 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 12:40 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never sure what to do with my eyes when I'm at the dentist. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What's the proper etiquette here?
←Rate | 02-03-2011 13:41 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My next door neighbour's battery went in his Smart car today. I had to give him a jump start from my iPod.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internet Explorer - the best browser in the world for downloading Firefox.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:50 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it's true calling: helping people wink online. ;-)
←Rate | 02-02-2011 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Egyptian Pres. Mubarak refuses to heed calls to step down. He seems to be in denial--which coincidentally is where his body will be found if he doesn't resign.
←Rate | 02-01-2011 19:16 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I want to show off my best curves, I smile.
←Rate | 01-30-2011 10:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use “ur” because ur a moron!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:10 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon How do you spell "clitoris"? I don't know but I had it on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:05 by lemonpillow Comments (5)  


   messageicon The reason I'm single? She wouldn't marry me when I was drinking and I wouldn't marry her when I was sober.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:28 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.
←Rate | 01-23-2011 09:14 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Did you hear about the new Austalian diet? It's called Swim Fast.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 03:42 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 10:01 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon I tYp3 LyK tHi5 cuz i'm cool, No..you type like that because you failed English Now go to preschool and ‘Type like this.'
←Rate | 01-11-2011 09:57 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Legally,It's questionable. Morally,It's disgusting. Personally,I like it.
←Rate | 01-10-2011 15:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say “Didn't you read my statuses?”
←Rate | 01-09-2011 13:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I sleep on my side, do the "ZZZZs" turn into "NNNNs" ?
←Rate | 01-09-2011 13:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
←Rate | 12-28-2010 11:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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