Tom Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My friend, Eddie, spends several hours a day lubricating an old bench clamp... It's one of his many vices.
←Rate | 08-22-2010 19:13 by Tom Comments (1)  

   messageicon "Absolutely, sir. And what kind of pig would you like to hear?" (Real American, if he was in Deliverance)
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:19 by Tom Comments (7)  

   messageicon When I ride alone with a random guy in an elevator I'll wait a sec then ask "two man killing spree?"
←Rate | 08-23-2010 08:22 by Tom Comments (8)  

   messageicon Wonder if Southern Belles say "I do declare" a lot when they're doing their taxes.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 10:05 by Tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a cat sees a sandbox, he must feel like a human viewing a 50 ft. toilet.
←Rate | 08-23-2010 10:08 by Tom Comments (1)  

   messageicon Charles D*ckens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
←Rate | 08-23-2010 18:25 by Tom Comments (6)  

   messageicon why is it after I press 1 for english, I still cannot understand the person on the other line?
←Rate | 09-22-2010 17:33 by TOM Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wondering if the inventor or "crotchless panites" was thinking "Outside the box"
←Rate | 09-28-2010 19:38 by Tom Comments (1)  

   messageicon I've got bieber fever!!!! Whenever I hear his name or music I get a fever, headache, nausea
←Rate | 10-19-2010 20:10 by TOM Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's called FACEBOOK, not OPENBOOK. You can keep somethings to yourself.....
←Rate | 10-26-2010 09:44 by TOM Comments (0)  

   messageicon Worrying Is like a rocking chair, sure it gives you something to do but in the end, it gets you nowhere.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 16:56 by TOM Comments (0)  

   messageicon Left Cocoa Puffs on the Eater Bunnys chair at the mall!
←Rate | 04-21-2011 23:57 by tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon so the Bible says the world is going to end May 21, 2011.. Santa Claus always said the Mayan's got the date right years ago. well thats what the Easter bunny told me....
←Rate | 05-18-2011 13:45 by Tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon Re-up with Sam Hurd this weekend just isn't going to happen...
←Rate | 12-17-2011 00:12 by tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon the "Poke" should display the time of "Poke" that way you know when there thinking of you most!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 00:26 by tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to upload a cat picture, but I don't like them!
←Rate | 02-25-2012 23:37 by tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon ESPN reports that Manny Pacquiao has filed sexual harassment and inappropriate touching charges against Floyd Mayweather for all the hugging and grabbing from Saturday night's fight.
←Rate | 05-04-2015 13:27 by Tom Comments (0)  

   messageicon If the first thing Trump says after he wins the election isn't " You're Fired!" I will be highly disappointed
←Rate | 06-10-2016 23:38 by Tom Comments (0)  


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