nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Who would have thought the Detroit Lions would have played the best football in the state of Michigan this weekend?

   My buddy Jim has an impressive New Year's resolution. No more sex, no beer, no football, no nights out with the guys and no looking at other women. He's getting married tonight!!

   hopes Santa got Charlie Brown a football tee this year.

   I just learned that to burn off the calories from 1 M&M you have to walk the length of a football field. BRB I have to run to China.

   what does the Vikings football team and the Metradome have in common? They both collapsed under pressure this year

   Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets

   Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

   Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, there is Sit on My Ass and Watch Football Sunday!

   I've just been given a six month suspension from football. I caught an opponent with a tackle and broke both his legs... I admit the tackle was a bit late, he was getting into his car at the time.

   can't wait for Thanksgiving!! No, not because of the meal and football games. Just found out I don't have to sit at "The Kids Table" again this year!!!!

   Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.

   hears there may not be any football in 2011, and would like to thank the Dallas Cowboys for preparing us with no football in 2010.

   Went out tonight, saw many women with hot costumes including Sexy Snow White, Naughty Nurse, Hot Cop, Horny Devil, French Maid, etc....but not one Will Leave You Alone During The Football Game and Give You a BJ during Halftime. The search continues...

   BEFORE MARRIAGE: Saturday Night Fever AFTER: Monday Night Football

   Thinking they need to make pro football and basketball coaches wear uniforms like baseball coaches do.

   hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.

   The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.

   lets turn the NFL into touch football

   Payroll for 53 over-hyped players: $168 Million, Big a$$ stadium: $1.6 Billion, Getting the Superbowl to that stadium: $100 million Everybody knowing that you spent all that money and your team STILL sucks: Priceless : D

   And on the final day God said ..." Let there be football!"