santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm down on the xmas stuff!-Santa

   I feel like the little kid before Christmas... cant wait to get up and see what St. Patty has for me under the keg !

   Our business says Merry Christmas!

   People still shooting off fireworks better be careful that they don't hit any of the Christmas decorations they never took down.

   All I want for Christmas is the charges dropped.

   What do Edward Cullen and a Christmas tree have in common? Their tiny balls sparkle.

   Christmas shopping done.... I got everyone a box with a note in it that reads. "Sorry, the world was suppose to end so I didn't get you anything. Blame the Mayans!"

   What do people with spinning flashing inflatable Christmas lawn ornaments think is tacky?

   ♪ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   The first time a man sees a woman naked is like a child seeing a present on Christmas morning.

   wondering if unemployment will be sending me a christmas bonus?

   My neighbor finally put up his #Christmas lights today. I bet he's mad that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.

   All of these couples in the Hallmark Christmas movies that fall in love in a couple of days should have sequels on the Crime Network by Halloween when one of them murders the other one.

   its christmas time. lets see some funnies and not democratic bull

   i have 2 sisters,one 14 and the other 6. the 14 year old was arguing with the 6 year old and said" SANTA ISN'T REAL!" without blinking,the 6 year old said"neither is edward cullen!" I don't wanna be mean so i'll say this,one ran away crying.

   The real magic of Christmas is how quickly money vanishes from my wallet.

   Whew!!.. just in time ... I got all my Christmas shopping done with one fell swoop... I hope everyone enjoys their Netflicks trial offers :)

   Dear Santa , before I try to explain . Just how much do you aleady know .

   Memo from Santa: Due to the rising cost of coal, this year people on the naughty list will be receiving Nickelback CDs.

   Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE