Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The problem with having so many followers is that simple jokes are now beneath me. Like your mother.
←Rate | 11-14-2011 22:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She got her looks from her mother.....she was a plastic surgeon
←Rate | 11-20-2011 11:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey status messages auto correct, stop tampering with my swear words, you mother forklift.
←Rate | 11-20-2011 23:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - I was shopping for condoms and she asked if I knew how to use them.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remmeber last year at christmas my ex girlfriend was so pissed that I gave her mother a mustache trimmer.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 21:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom still hasn't gotten her Mother's Day card, the post office wasn't lying when they sold me the "forever" stamp.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 18:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Define birthday :-the only day in your life.....when your mother smiled when you cried.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 08:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello? Mother Nature? Yes I would like to cancel my monthly subscription...Ah, I can't do that before 40 years are up? No I would not like to transfer to the 9 month plan....
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:08 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Omg I'm so hungry I could eat my ex wife's cooking while sitting at the table with my ex mother in law!
←Rate | 11-28-2011 23:17 by KyRebel129 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter told her mother that a kid in class showed her his peck*r. My wife flipped. My daughter said it reminded her of a peanut, so my wife asked her if it was small. My daughter said, "No, salty."
←Rate | 11-30-2011 10:23 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Knock knock." "Who's there?""Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 20:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother-in-law is a meteorologist. Well, not a meteorologist, but whatever it is called when you complain about the weather 6 times a day.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 13:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa send me your mother
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 22:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 22:37 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Freudian slip; Where you say one thing, but mean your mother.
←Rate | 12-24-2011 14:23 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fellas: Make sure you always treat the women in your life with respect and dignity. From your grandmother, mother, sister to your girlfriend or wife, because a woman never forgets how you treat her.
←Rate | 12-27-2011 02:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon its been so windy lately, I think mother nature ate some bad Taco Bell.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 10:30 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 10:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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