love Funny Status Messages

   Parents say alcohol is your enemy, God says love your enemy.......

   The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

   Zombies make the best boyfriends; they love you for your brain, not your body...

   Can I borrow that quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love.

   My wife told me that a friend of hers gets smacked abound by her husband. Then she told me that, if I ever hit her, I'd only do it the once. "That's what I love about you," I said. She said, "What do you mean?" I replied, "You learnn from your mistakes."

   I love how you can make ANYTHING you say sound dirty, just by adding one of those "Air Quotation" gestures.

   Went to Arby's today, and had a buddy hide in the trunk. When we got to the window to pickup our order, We had him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.I turned up the stereo, and handed the guy my money, and said loudly "I LOVE this song!!"

   its better to lose a lover then to love a loser

   watching The Biggest Loser. I'd really love to be on that show. Not so much to lose weight.. but just to have Jillian ride me like a donkey while talking dirty to me.. Yeahh baby!

   Thought it was true love, but you know women lie.

   Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile

   Were drunk! you dont have to know or like me to make passionate movie love to me!! Tomorrow we'll act like it never happend!

   Know what I love???? Free handguns and Hard liquor night at the ball park!!! Ton's of fun!

   RELATIONSHIP: A bond between two people; One person works to create/maintain love and fufillment while the other person waits for something better to come along....:(

   You know the incredible thing about hearts is their unbelievable capacity for forgiveness... You'd be amazed what people will overlook when they love someone...

   A priceless moment is when the person that you have fallen in love with, looks you right in the eyes to tell you that they have fallen in love with you...

   I'm not afraid of heights, swimming, or love... Just falling, drowning, and rejection...

   Love don't cost a thing." Except a lot of tears, a broken heart, and wasted years.

   I love piecing my night together one drunk text at a time.

   I love the way you laugh....mostly because your boobs jiggle when you do :)