Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon For all the taxes they take out of my paycheck they should at least send me a picture of the broke ass family I support to hang on my fridge.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 21:50 Comments (1)  


   messageicon going to be in such good shape now that he found these WII fit Cheat codes!
←Rate | 05-12-2009 03:20 by Nilmer Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes it on the floor, next to the bed, so she doesn't forget it it when I kick her out in the morning
←Rate | 10-06-2010 09:38 by Vybe Comments (2)  


   messageicon OK some Women want to be equal to Men... Send us flowers to work, pick us up for a date, open the car or any door for us, take us out to dinner and a movie flip the bill and leave the tip and you make the first move at the end of the date!!!
←Rate | 01-10-2012 21:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear bl@ck people, stop trying to impress others with fancy cars and clothes. Let's try impress each other with investments and good credit!
←Rate | 05-09-2012 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no such thing as being "big boned." How many fat skeletons have you ever seen???
←Rate | 07-27-2010 21:46 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon The dimmer brat party has changed. I know, I was one. Until Obama and Biden started all this BS we’re dealing with now. Miss Trump yet?
←Rate | 09-04-2021 20:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon On Dasher, on Dancer, on Master Card and Visa.
←Rate | 12-24-2017 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I was playing chess with my friend and he said ‘Let's make this more interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
←Rate | 04-23-2012 20:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get fooled by the free toilet paper app., My phone is ruined now
←Rate | 05-26-2012 07:37 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know today is starting out to be a bad day, even my Rice Krispies went SH*T,CRAP,AND F*CK .
←Rate | 01-04-2012 09:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Makeup, soda, sandwich, texting, talking, then I realized she was driving the car in front of me, in traffic.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 13:10 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gentleman...... Start Your Livers!!!!
←Rate | 03-17-2012 09:45 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced.
←Rate | 04-10-2012 10:57 by @jhennezzey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone was touching and kissing the trophy. I was just waiting for someone to hump the damn thing.
←Rate | 02-05-2012 22:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment of epic sadness when you shut down the computer and then you realize that you need it again.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 16:13 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you hate Capitalism so much, then just write everything in lower case. Problem solved.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 13:09 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I look horrible in a group photo and the person that looks good refuses to delete it
←Rate | 11-25-2011 13:40 by @ericroflmao Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a squirrel eating a dead squirrel on the way home. So, the bath salt/zombie crisis has now reached the animal kingdom...
←Rate | 06-10-2012 09:25 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Note to self: When picking your nose in the car... watch out for speed bumps.
←Rate | 09-07-2012 16:24 Comments (0)  




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