Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Its funny that when you put a depressing status on Facebook some people actually like it?.. "Im feeling down and going to jump off a bridge" ... 10 people like this?..WTF!!!
←Rate | 09-30-2011 08:53 by Memz Comments (1)  

   messageicon That annoying moment when two people start a conversation on YOUR Facebook status.
←Rate | 10-09-2011 05:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good thing I got this degree, just in case this unemployment thing doesn't work out.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 13:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Skinny jeans aren't for everybody...
←Rate | 04-14-2010 14:46 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon 70% of you might think I'm being disingenuous when I say I'm surprised that you "like" my status...The other 30% are googling "disingenuous"...
←Rate | 05-13-2010 04:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If God didn't think humility was important, he would have put the prostate somewhere else.
←Rate | 05-22-2010 10:47 by jeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 16:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon We have 50 friends in common and I still have no idea who the hell you are
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:08 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon The trouble with life is there's no background music
←Rate | 07-20-2010 02:51 by Rachael Comments (1)  

   messageicon Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do dumb stuff is fired.
←Rate | 07-31-2010 11:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 15:27 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  

   messageicon You know your'e getting old when you think an XBOX is where you keep your divorce papers.
←Rate | 01-11-2011 12:59 by Will Salameh Comments (0)  

   messageicon say's never go to a Doctor whose plants are dead in the waiting room!
←Rate | 06-22-2009 15:32 by KingTut Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...and then Buffy staked Edward. The end
←Rate | 03-23-2010 14:58 by ANGELA Comments (1)  

   messageicon You can do a thousand GOOD things and a a hundred GREAT things. But if you do just one BAD thing, people will remember you for that.
←Rate | 03-23-2010 15:26 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I Don't Care what anybody says, Nothing says I Love you more like standing in line for you're girl to buy tampax pearl."
←Rate | 09-06-2010 12:04 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon There should be a statute of limitations on how long a person gets to blame their crappy childhood for their shortcomings.
←Rate | 09-07-2010 08:46 by Leeferd Comments (1)  

   messageicon There are going to be so many Snookis this year for Halloween. I think I will dress up as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face.
←Rate | 10-29-2010 16:10 by Nunthewizr Comments (5)  

   messageicon found out that if you play a Justin Beiber album backwards, you hear satanic messages. What's even worse is, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber...
←Rate | 11-18-2010 19:31 by MikeM Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's normal for kids to play 'doctor.' Start worrying if you find them playing 'airport security.'
←Rate | 11-26-2010 13:58 Comments (0)  

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