love Funny Status Messages

   Having lived and loved, I can tell you that life is the constant and love is the variable.

   i love the people who say their company is priceless!!.. to me if it lacks a price, it more likely worthless!!

   This is how my relationship goes.....I turn her on the moment I get home from work and she satisfies my needs. I love my air conditioner!

   Why, when my dad left his phone in the car his phone rang and the ringtone was "Love in this club" by Usher???

   If you have no love to be thankful for, at least be thankful for all those bullets you dodged.

   Call her Princess. B*tches love being addressed as royalty.

   You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

   “I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullsh*t”

   Jehovah's Witnesses? Please, come on in. Yes, I would LOVE to listen, but first let's talk about MY religion. Let me get the blowtorch.

   there any good boxers named mario? would love to see super mario fight pac man

   OK girls...we aren't ignoring you, we are not being disrespectful, we hear the phone ringing, we hear the text notification!! We still love you, thank you for all you do.....So go shopping or get your nails done, go out with the girls or get something wax

   Love is in the air..... Good thing I have my gas mask on xD

   Yesterday I was 2 away from a threesome. I love college!

   When you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on and everybody was invited except for you ... and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain ...

   I love to use the holidays as an excuse to gift, re-gift and de-gift meaningless merchandise.....I wonder if that would qualify me as an "Indian Gifter"? ツ

   Smoking, drinking and you...two things I love.

   I love to stand in line at ATM machines, and when people put in their PIN, I yell "GOT IT" then run away!!!

   Eat a handful of coffee grounds before seeing the dental hygienist. They love a challenge.

   make love, not babies.

   I would love to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my butt.