Monday Funny Status Messages

   Even my dinner tasted like Monday

   it's Monday everyone, hope you've had your Tiger's Blood!

   Thinks MONDAY would be a good name for a Pitbull....BAD MONDAY.....BAD

   I kinda wish I was sober enough to remember what really happened. One moment we was having fun, the next thing I knew, its Monday and I'm getting emails..... R.I.P - Saturday & Sunday

   I had my dose of monday Tiger Blood, but I broke my freaking dragon tooth.

   You know, there's one good thing about Monday and it's...... hmm.... wait... let me get back to you on that.

   Monday Meeting Autopilot: Shake hands...Good to see you...Squint at pie charts...Nod head...Fake chuckle at the jokes...Suppress yawn...Thank you...and Clap when the 3 hour anguish ends...

   Short term goal, today get past annoying Monday and Monday's close friends, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday before hanging out with Friday and Friday's hot friends Saturday and Sunday.

   Monday is the strongest day of all the weekdays, even though it is cursed by every other person in this world, it still exists

   waiting for an orgy on monday.....when everyone will get screwed as soon as the results are declared...

   Monday's are like bowel movements. Sometimes they pass smoothly and sometimes you have to get in, sit down, shut up and hold on!

   Hey Monday!! /take That!!! ┌П┐(◕‿◕) ┌П┐

   Friday! There you are, you sexy son of a btich! We've been lookin for you since Monday!

   Told the owner of my company that I'm not coming in Monday because he has this new "Affluenza" and I don't want to catch it.

   If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where I can return Monday.

   I guess as long as all participants are over 18, I'm okay with Cyber Monday...

   When you're driving to work on Monday morning just remember that Floyd Mayweather made 41 million dollars tonight.

   Instead of celebrating Valentine's Day this year my wife and I will be celebrating... "Discount chocolate ovedose Monday....."

   Waking up to Monday is kinda like the Mayans being right.

   If 40 is the new 30, then Monday is the new Friday.