santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon In further keeping with the new American tradition of ruining holidays by starting them early and hurrying them along...I put up all my Christmas decorations yesterday, and took them back down this morning.
←Rate | 11-25-2013 10:14 by mc fazzerino Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you find those people who keep updating how many days to christmas annoying? Anyway it's 37 days to christmas.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 11:03 by HEX Comments (0)  


   messageicon In order to refrain from spending too much on Christmas, I'm voluntarily placing myself in the Jehovah's Witness Protection Program.
←Rate | 12-09-2010 08:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be on Santa's naughty list but at least I had fun getting there.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 04:28 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You see your family whole year, holidays are for your bartender !!" - Moe Syzlak
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:18 by Muzammil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa I was not naughty, I was merely thinking outside the box!!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 19:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:10 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it's because you're a whore.
←Rate | 12-27-2016 19:36 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The radio shouldve started playing thanksgiving music instead of christmas music but the only song I can think of is Adam Sandlers Thanksgiving Song.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just to remind you: about 152 Days left to Christmas and 148 until the end of world happens again! Enjoy it!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 06:53 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 06:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.
←Rate | 04-10-2017 21:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..
←Rate | 12-21-2016 18:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big moment here: I just finished building that gingerbread house for the holidays.
←Rate | 01-16-2018 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Christmas you can either join the Mile High club or the less prestigious Rock Bottom club, having sex on a Greyhound bus. If that's not rock bottom, I don't know what is.
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a peek at Santa's naughty list! Amazingly, it's almost identical to my friends list. Can't believe some of the things you people have done!
←Rate | 12-06-2012 09:46 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well the Christmas spirit is boxed up and back into the attic for another year.
←Rate | 12-30-2010 16:08 by Rick Hurst Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these years in therapy have finally paid off people... My therapist just recommended I get supervision this festive season. I have always wanted super powers! BEST Christmas present ever...
←Rate | 12-05-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son finally found out Santa isn't real, but he claims he heard footsteps on the roof the last couple years on Christmas. This year instead of leaving cookies and sleeping, he's going to sit on the roof with a shotgun.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 06:46 by Will Comments (0)  



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