santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 05-02-2016 06:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.
←Rate | 04-10-2017 21:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this Christmas Eve it would really be nice if we all went over to MySpace to wish Tom a Merry Christmas ....... poor guy.
←Rate | 12-17-2016 01:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The people who insist you say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" are just trying to Police Navidad.
←Rate | 12-18-2016 09:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The first rule of Christmas Fight Club is don't buy her anything half a size bigger than she is because clearly you're implying something..
←Rate | 12-21-2016 18:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I noticed that every time I hear that Christmas song about nuts roasting on an open fire, my testicles move into a defensive formation.
←Rate | 12-01-2016 16:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Christmas you can either join the Mile High club or the less prestigious Rock Bottom club, having sex on a Greyhound bus. If that's not rock bottom, I don't know what is.
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is you ...... Just kidding I want Money
←Rate | 12-14-2016 00:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just wanted to wish happy holidays to engineers of the electricals. Your postt manage to survive!
←Rate | 12-23-2014 16:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just got a peek at Santa's naughty list! Amazingly, it's almost identical to my friends list. Can't believe some of the things you people have done!
←Rate | 12-06-2012 09:46 by MWC Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well the Christmas spirit is boxed up and back into the attic for another year.
←Rate | 12-30-2010 16:08 by Rick Hurst Comments (0)  

   messageicon All these years in therapy have finally paid off people... My therapist just recommended I get supervision this festive season. I have always wanted super powers! BEST Christmas present ever...
←Rate | 12-05-2011 18:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to see a more man-friendly mall for next Christmas. It needs to have a Home Depot, AutoZone, Bass Pro Shop, Lowe's, Sears, Gander Mtn, Pep Boys, a Longhorn Steakhouse and ESPN radio playing over the christmas tunes.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 07:32 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon Nothing says thankful and greatful like puching your fellow man in the mouth for $30 off a cheap TV made in China. Now get out there and fight for your kids presents, cause whats a great Christmas without a war story for the kids..
←Rate | 11-29-2013 09:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My office Christmas party is tonight, which means my office apology party will be tomorrow.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 11:52 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm down on the xmas stuff!-Santa
←Rate | 10-15-2012 18:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I feel like the little kid before Christmas... cant wait to get up and see what St. Patty has for me under the keg !
←Rate | 03-12-2010 23:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Our business says Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 12-18-2012 13:59 by cpaman Comments (0)  

   messageicon All I want for Christmas is the charges dropped.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 12:59 by Adam K Denny Comments (0)  

   messageicon ♪ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,
←Rate | 12-18-2015 12:12 Comments (0)  

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