life Funny Status Messages

   watching "forensic files" & a commercial comes on about buying life insurance ... know your audience

   sometimes I wish life was like golf...id call MULLIGAN on some moments

   Sometimes we struggle through a tasteless coffee till the last sip,then we find sugar lying at the bottom. -THAT'S LIFE Sweetened but not stirred well..!!

   Ahhhh...pity. Where would my love life have been without it?

   Life before the computer punchline(see above 3): And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy...you hoped nobody found out.

   A lot of people have made decisions about what I should do with my life; unfortunately, it hasn't worked out too well for them.

   Life is a b*tch, but she's totally "do-able!"

   My life is becoming a very complicated drinking game.

   I live life on the edge, when I go grocery shopping I place all my eggs in the same basket! Thats just how I roll.

   Don't know what I'd do with my life if Facebook didn't notify me that my hundreds of friends changed their profile picture every 5 minutes.

   It's better to have a life of 'Oh Wells than a life of 'What if...'

   There are 2 types of people I don't like: 1) Those who complain constantly and blame others for all that's wrong with their life, and 2) Everyone else...

   In order to make change in your life you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired

   I think I skipped the part of life where I was supposed to learn how to get rich.

   LIfe is simple. Be yourself. Find something you would die for. Be loyal to those who deserve it and tell the rest to go f*ck themselves.

   Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

   The way I see it is that life is divided up into three stages, and you only have to wipe your @$$ for one of them. Isn't life incredible!?

   a life with no regrets is a life no lived, I would rather strike out swinging than to sit there looking

   Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

   I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I'm bored.