life Funny Status Messages
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I've never once jumped into a taxi and yelled, "FOLLOW THAT CAR!" Life is disappointing and movies are liars. 
I cut the sleeves off my snuggie because it makes me look more badas$$. THUG LIFE.
according to statistics you waste 5 years of your life looking at facebook!!
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then sell it and use the profits to by a gun. See if life makes the same mistake twice.
A man is a man all of his life, but a woman's just horny until she's your wife.
I had a life once. Now I have an internet connection and a Mac book.
In the movie of life, I am my own stunt double.
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
Life can be like a prick, Sometimes it gets hard for no apparent reason.
They say life is one long and crazy ride. I wanna know how the hell did I get a ticket and can I get a refund!
Pretty sure you could "pull life support" from me just by turning off the a/c
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day... Give a man a poisonous fish and you'll feed him for the rest of his life
EX means: Thanks for the EXperience, Our time has EXpired, now EXit my life..
Some people mistake kindness as an invitation to suck the goddamn life right out of ya.
Life is too short to be angry and hold grudges. Just slap them in the face and move on!
That demoralising moment when you're starting a new chapter of your life only to realize that's it's exactly the same as the last chapter.
If you keep God inside your heart, there's nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God is enough!
,"for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son,that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life."JOHN 3:16
thinks when life hands me lemons, I think Great, more stuff to throw at the Raccoon that lives in my attic!
Since Facebook came into my life I have completely neglected MySpace. This must be what parents feel like when they have a second child. [Search Results] [View All Messages]
