friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   If you watch Friday the 13th backwards, Jason's machete is a magic wand that brings kids back to life and sends them to summer camp...

   I would like to wish all the moms out there a Happy Labor Day Weekend!!! What?... That's not what that means?

   How could there have been 60 shootings and 11 people killed in Chicago over the July 4th weekend when guns are not allowed there?

   My favorite Black Friday tradition is watching the day's Walmart tramplings on the evening news.

   building my weekend playlist. So far I have REM "It's the End of the World" and Anita Baker "Caught Up In the Rapture". Any suggestions?

   It's Friday night and you're sitting at home on Facebook? HAHAHAHAHAHA same

   I don't know if my stomach is growling cuz I'm hungry or if that's my liver crying cuz it's the weekend.

   Memo to my coworkers: It is Friday afternoon, and I have some serious web browsing and personal emailing to take care of, so please refrain from walking behind my cubicle. Thank you.

   Thanks to all my FB Friends, for once again, reminding me it's Friday. This is also FB Spring Cleaning Weekend. Time to remove all the apps, polls, fan pages, pictures and friends you just don't need or want anymore.

   Instead of all this nonsence with an hour here or there or mess around with the whole leap years crap. We should accumulate the time for an extra day on the weekend!.

   There are some days when I just really do not want to wake up early and go to work. I call these days Monday - Friday.

   Welcome back, Sunday....it's nice to see you. Stay a while...don't be in such a rush to leave like your friends Friday and Saturday!

   Black Friday... America's version of "Running of the bulls!"

   I like to spend my Monday mornings avoiding people who might ask about my weekend.

   WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.

   Anything with Friday in it can't be all bad. Now Monday the 13th, that's another story.

   If being drunk before 3pm on a Friday is wrong, I never want to be right.

   According to my shattered iPhone screen, I had a pretty awesome weekend.

   My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.

   Stay warm people. It's supposed to be "R. KELLY" cold out there this weekend. And by that I mean "IN THE TEENS."