love Funny Status Messages

   Nothing's more disappointing than getting a message, hoping it's from that girl you love, and it turns out to be from your wife instead.

   Roses are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it is stiff, stick it in! Not that's a love poem!

   The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson

   We all crave to find someone to crawl into the darkest parts of our soul And still ache to make love to our demons

   The problem with love is that though we get to chose who we love, we don't get to chose who loves us back.

   I want to make sweet love to your face with my fist. Don't worry, I'll use protection. Wouldn't want my hand to get hurt.

   I love animals, especially with veg and gravy....

   Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.

   A dog will love you more then your wife... Don't believe me? Lock both in the trunk of your car for an hour then see which one will be happy to see you.

   I love rude waiters/waitresses...I don't have to be GUILTY for not tipping them. I only had money for the food anyway

   Love is blind. Hate is deaf. You'd think Stupid would be mute but I keep on talking.

   Finally shaved my legs...donated it to Locks of Love

   In love, you either win someone's heart or lose your liver... !

   Love is like a soccer ball, everybody runs to have that ball, and when they have it they kick it away..

   I believe in love at first sight because… I’ve loved my mum since I opened my eyes!

   "Scots love me and I love those haggis smelling weirdos who wear those little girlie skirts!" -Trump, eventually, during his Scotland trip.

   Love is...never having to say “wrong hole”

   Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct; what they like to be is a man's last romance.

   Choose what you love and then learn to live with your choice.

   We may love the wrong person, cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help to teach us that relationships are complete bullsh!t!