nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   If your boyfriend isn't ignoring you as much as you'd like him to, suggest he join a few more fantasy football leagues.

   if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season

   Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..

   I have a great idea for improving Coldplay concerts. Stop the show halfway through and feature a 15 minute football game.

   Tim Tebow speaking at the Republican National Convention guarantees the Republicans have no shot at winning the Superbowl next year.

   I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 10:00 AM on a Saturday.

   Wearing a football jersey to Buffalo Wild Wings is dad cosplay.

   The NCAA should allow Penn State to continue playing football, but their scores shouldn't be reported for 15 years.

   Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?

   Across this country right now, college marching bands are practicing call me maybe in time for the kickoff of college football.

   Womens football. If it isn't raining I'm just not interested.

   My buddy Jim has an impressive New Year's resolution. No more sex, no beer, no football, no nights out with the guys and no looking at other women. He's getting married tonight!!

   I would like to see a soccer player play real football and a real football player play soccer and see who cries first.

   after 16 years of leaving the Patriots, Pete Carroll finally won a superbowl for them

   Ya all complained about Jlo at the Superbowl snl look what you got, Jock strap Face

   Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

   Brett Favre retired today from the Minnesota Vikings of the National Football League... In other news, the Sun rose in the east this morning...

   My girlfriend came in while I was watching the football highlights she said, "Awww, is this the Paralympics?" I said, "No, it's Dallas Cowboys."

   The Washington Redskins: Where pro football players go to let there career die.

   my drinking team has a football problem