love Funny Status Messages
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Ladies, don't believe the magazines. Men don't like skinny women who starve themselves. They love women who are pretty & starve themselves.
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02-10-2013 12:01
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How to murder someone: tell them you love them so much, and then go on to forget about their existence.
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06-01-2013 05:42 by BEGO
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I love to eat Bran Flakes in the morning. I guess i'm just a regular girl.
If you love to make your own homemade beef jerky, don't get a vanity tag for your vehicle that says "LUV2JERK." People will laugh at you.
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04-01-2010 16:54 by Leeferd
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Dear Wendy's, I so love your delicious, frozen treat called the Frosty. May I make a suggestion? Instead of a plastic straw, could you please substitute this with a bamboo straw? I'm tired of the plastic straws collapsing on me.
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04-23-2010 17:52 by Leeferd
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There are the normal ( . )( . ), the silicone ( + )( + ), the perfect (o)(o) Some are cold (^)(^) and some belong to grandmothers \./\./ And let's not forget the very large (o why o), the very small (.)(.) and the asymmetrical (•)(.) We love them all!
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04-07-2011 07:44
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Men are like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to bash his head in with... and a spade to bury him with.
Let me just take care of all of this reposting I have to do at once? My life is wonderful, I hate cancer, I donated to Haiti, I support our troops, I love my Mom,I`m from Everett,Hugs and smiles to to you,I won`t join your farmville, I won`t be answering
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01-26-2010 07:53
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Problem is people confuse LOVE with BUSINESS. If you are with her because she gives the best BJs and she is with you because you pay all her bills then thats not a LOVE affair, that's just a BUSINESS arrangement.
I dont make love, I slam women like a fridge door with no beer in it.
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04-18-2013 18:38
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How to politely answer to an insult: "I would love to insult you, but I'm afraid I won't do as good as nature did..."
Ladies, if your dating profile includes the phrase “must love cats”, you should buy the long term membership…
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08-28-2012 11:55
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"I love Justin Beiber" Hey Jeff, eat a Snickers, you're gay when youre hungry
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07-03-2012 19:17
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FYI....If you are one of those who like the strong silent type....then you're gonna just love my farts!!
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09-23-2016 05:10 by guest-TJ
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Ok straight up, ladies. I love and respect all of you, but you all know how you can be when you're PMS'n. Do we really want a woman for president. I rest my case ! ! !
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10-10-2016 01:07 by JAB
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Falling in love is like getting drunk. you wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again ;-)*
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07-27-2010 04:11 by roN
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I believe in love at first sight which is why I quit looking homeless people in the eyes. Just can't risk it.
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07-30-2010 14:57
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If your boyfriend answers your text while playing Call of Duty, he doesn't love you. He just died on the game.
Men, just because she loves your c ock doesn't mean she's in love with u
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12-12-2012 15:45
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As much as I love butter spray bottles it just makes me want Bacon spray bottles." I'd put that $hit on everything "
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