life Funny Status Messages

   There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep & Good _uck. Whatever you are thinking... is right.

   I have counted 16 stains on my bed sheets and not one of them is sex related. My life sucks.

   There's a difference between kissing ass and ass kissing. One gets you ahead in life the other gets you nowhere.

   Many of the problems in Rick James's life could have been avoided if he could have taken Superfreak home to mother.

   getting stoned and trying to load the dishwasher is like real life Tetris.

   you know....everything I needed to know about life, I learned in kindergarten....if you poop your pants....they let you go home....

   I'd like to beat the life out of someone with a violin. That way I could be described as having been instrumental in their death

   I've spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn't rhyme with good.

   Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.

   Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!

   Marriage is not a word, its a sentence, a life sentence.

   wishes I could measure how much of my life has passed me by while I played with my iPhone. . . Maybe there's an app for that.

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life...also, thank you.

   i wish we could go back to 1978 when life was good

   Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

   Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people!

   Look, kids. I think we can learn a valuable lesson from Whitney Houston's unfortunate passing. When snorting coke, wear a life jacket.

   Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.

   EX means ..'' thanks for the EXperience , your time has EXpired , now EXit in my life . !

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...