nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   I don't know who makes more idle threats: Iran threatening the U.S. Navy in the Persian Gulf or Rex Ryan of the Jets threatening to win a Superbowl every year?

   She lost me at, "I don't watch football."

   BEFORE MARRIAGE: Saturday Night Fever AFTER: Monday Night Football

   Some good tax news for you Michigan trolls. The IRS announced today that you can write off your Michigan Wolverine football season tickets as a total loss.

   BREAKING NEWS: United States resumes not caring about soccer, looks forward to NFL Football in September

   Overview of my résumé: 1. Quick eater 2. Extensive knowledge of Parkour 3. Argumentative 4: Fired from McDonalds 5: Am I a multi tasker, (I can sneeze and pee at the same) 6: leading my Fantasy Football league..

   Son: Dad, what's a hypocrite?.... Me: It's when an idiot wants to change the name of a football team while putting Aunt Jemima syrup on waffles.

   "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" – the Working Title of my new Childrens book

   Obama said he wouldn't let his son play football bc he fears it would cause dementia. Someone should tell Obama that he doesn't have a son.

   Pretty excited that the Patriots and the Giants are opening for Madonna at the Superbowl

   Wondering, Don't you idiot Desert Dwellers realize Americans are watching Football today and could give a $hit less about your protest.. @wasteofenergy

   Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.

   I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.

   Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.

   If swimming would just add one shark, I would watch it more than football.

   You do know that COLTS stand for Count On Loosing The Superbowl!!

   Betty white to preform at next yrs Superbowl ...

   The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.

   Football is on. I'll talk to you guys in February.

   ACA's, CMA's, ACM's...country music is working on having as many stupid awards shows as college football has pointless bowl games.