santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Who are you to doubt God? And Santa Claus? And the Easter Bunny? And...

   I dont know if yall know but umm ...its Christmas time in Hollis Queens

   Dear Santa, I've been really good today, so lets focus on that!

   Dear Santa, Let me explain about last year..

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween, stood next to the Easter Bunny, and handed out eggs......

   "MERRY CHRITHMITH MY ATH!" ~ The kid in the Christmas song that didn't get her two front teeth.

   hoping to be visited by the ghost of Christmas Past. That way I can go back gaze upon those great times.

   just came back home and found Santa in his mouse trap... My cheese was all gone, but at least the milk and cookies were safe.

   Man I was so upset at my parents when they told me that Santa wasn't real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove

   WHY IS A CHRISTMAS TREE BETTER THAN A MAN ? IT STAYS UP FOR 30 DAYS & NIGHTS, HAS CUTE BALLS & LOOKS GOOD WITH THE LIGHTS ON

   When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. ....Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left

   has found an artificial leg on a bus and is going to give it to his wife as a Xmas present. It should make the ideal stocking filler!

   Well, obviously we have a Santa in the North Pole. He's climbin' down yo chimney, droppin' yo' presents off Bringin' cheer so ya'll need to hang the stockings, deck the halls, and leave some cookies cuz he's visiting errrybody out there.

   My sons love dressing up as Wardens and playing prison, their Grandma was shocked when she found out I had built them a miniature electric chair for Christmas....

   if you negate those who celebrate for the presents, or for the excuse to drink, or for the day off work, or for the reason to party, or for a morning in bed, the amount of people who truly celebrate Xmas is lower than the nos of actors in a 1 man show!

   My grandfather was a wise man, which is probably why every Christmas he only gave me Myrrh.

   The stores are packed with folks gearing up for their Easter fashion shows, the same way they do for Christmas. The central figure for both these holidays was reduced to wearing a loin cloth for one, and swaddling for the other.

   I can't believe people have nerve enough to still be shooting fireworks. They almost caught my Christmas lawn decorations on fire.

   Pointing And LOLing, At Kids Falling Off Their New RipStik They Got For Christmas.

   Ok, Christmas lights are up and ready for next year.