santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Santa is a Democrat: 1. He sits on his butt all year long. 2. He has other people do all the hard work. 3. He then takes credit for giving away all the free stuff they made.

   Am I being picky when I say "Please leave 'Christ' in Christmas"? I know it's a little thing, but, by writing 'X-mas' it seems to me that we are taking out the whole reason we even celebrate this holiday just to save a few key strokes . Just my opinion of

   Dear Santa, when I said I wanted something blingy around my neck.... STREP THROAT is NOT what I had in mind :/

   I didn't get a toy train for xmas like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by

   I've always been suspicious of people who operate their Christmas lights after New Years day.

   For xmas my wife is getting SWIFFA so she can have fun while cleaning too.!!!

   I feel bad for Santa....the poor guy only comes once a year

   I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping: I took my girlfriend into eight different pubs without getting a drink and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

   I guess Jesus was the first kid that got to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.

   During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.

   Dear kids, There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Sincerely: WIKILEAKS

   Christmas...-What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of your sock?

   NOTICE: To the people who have flashing blue and red Christmas lights in their yard.....can you remove them, please? Every time I pass by, I think it is the cops and I have to remove my foot from the gas, slam on the brakes, put my seatbelt on, throw my p

   I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!

   If you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it

   Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.

   If anybody knows any lonely old people preparing to eat Christmas dinner alone? Please let me know as I need to borrow some chairs!

   Now that Christmas shopping and madness is over, I'm expecting applications for potential girlfriends...

   If you put your kid's GPA in your Christmas card's the grandparents might be proud of them but everyone else is gonna think YOU'RE a di<k!

   To all the merchants trying to make a buck off of Christmas...Go elf yourself!