santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   I think Christmas is cats favorite holiday. A big tree to climb on complete with all kinds of things that you can whap onto the floor.

   Getting clothes for Christmas is like getting vegetables for your birthday. Yeah, you need them, but that doesn't make them appropriate.

   Santa: I can't wait for the cookies I'm gonna get in Colorado.

   Prepare yourself. The family Christmas pajama pics are headed your way.

   Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch who lived just North of Whoville did not!

   Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

   In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!

   One day, as a little boy, I wrote to Santa Clause. "Please send me a little brother." Santa Clause wrote me back,,, "Ok, send me your mother."

   I decided to use Craigslist to do all my Christmas shopping. Look's like everyone's getting used couches this year.

   Jesus and santa are not real. You can live up to a 1,000 year and still never get to meet Jesus.

   What's a good Christmas gift for the man who has everything except a clue?

   I Remember one christmas when I woke up to see my mom helping santa with his zipper.. jolly old santa.

   I thought about being atheist...then I realized they dont have any holidays

   Coz that Pope started using Twitter, Santa just created his Facebook account. Guess what, all the kids are getting clothes and Bible for Christmas :)

   Just bought an artificial Christmas tree and the clerk asks me, will you be putting this up yourself? NO YOU SICK BASTARD!! I'm putting it up in my living room!

   My favorite Christmas song is whichever one comes on right after Feliz Navidad.

   I've resigned myself to the fact that if I start now, I'll have all my Christmas lights untangled and ready to go by December 24th.

   But if you can't see your Christmas decorations from space, do you really love Jesus?

   I got one of those Instant Pot gadgets for Christmas. What a load of BS. 3 days now and it hasn't produced any weed whatsoever. Instant Pot my eye.

   Everyday I hear people say they would to take a break and get some fresh air. So, this year I'm wrapping some up in boxes and giving as Christmas gifts.