Z Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell.
←Rate | 08-19-2009 16:33 by z Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 21:01 by z Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 19:16 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life isn't worth living for, unless you have something worth dying for.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 19:18 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon like a Candy Cane – sweet but very twisted
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:35 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon Please remember a doggy is not just for Christmas….It's a great position all year round!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:34 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can not see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 18:49 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember Christmas is a time for giving, so give generously, I accept credit cards, checks and cash.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:36 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 18:55 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just bought an artificial Christmas tree and the clerk asks me, will you be putting this up yourself? NO YOU SICK BASTARD!! I'm putting it up in my living room!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:45 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm sorry, I can't be mean to you. It's be kind to animals week.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 21:02 by z Comments (0)  

   messageicon The first present I opened this Christmas was a pen knife. I was so excited, I used it to cut open all my other presents. Shame about the puppy.
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:34 by Z Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been bad a few times this year, but it was worth it...you judgmental fat bastard!
←Rate | 12-23-2011 15:37 by Z Comments (0)  


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