life Funny Status Messages

   I HATE the commercials that try to connect their product to a virtue of life, such as "Mayo....because everyone appreciates being with family." I could be with my family without Mayo, thanks

   Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.

   There are so many things in life I still need to lick.

   trying to develop a life off of facebook.....as you can see, its not working.....

   Life is like a roller coaster. Sometimes you close your eyes and hold on in shear terror and other times you just have to throw your hands up in the air and enjoy the ride.

   Married life has many Ups and Downs... I just wish most of them were between the sheets!

   Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.

   Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person

   For the first time in my life, I did not welcome The Weekend.

   Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life

   Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account.

   life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   At the beach life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun.

   Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchuks, no one's eating fish ever again.

   Wonders why so many people are freaking out as a result of the Facebook changes. This may be a good indicator that what you really need is a life.

   When life seems to have turned it's back on you,stand up and kick it in the ass.

   If you watched a movie of my life backwards it'd be about a guy who refills vodka bottles and puts them back on the self.

   It's funny to watch you girls on Facebook whine and cry about your drama in one status and then the next....10 mins later "Pedi's, mani's now and drinks with my besties later, life is great"!!

   I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose

   The most exciting fact about life is the fact that everything you imagine happens somewhere and sometime in the universe.