santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   You people can keep blaming your weight/waist or tight fitting clothes on the holidays if you want, but I am not going to lie to myself or others. I was fat in August!

   broke as a mofo..why can't Santa Claus be real????

   I will be your Santa if you'll be my hoe hoe hoe!!!

   i bought all my Grandma's friends at the nursing home Ouija boards for Christmas so we can keep in touch in the New Year.

   To all those who will received a book from me as a Christmas present this year....They are due back at the library in 2 days.

   Got my favorite Christmas movie, A Christmas Story, from my in-laws for my birthday. I was shocked that the DVD version is abbreviated to 90 minutes. I always thought it was 24 hours.

   Dont be suprised if a big fat man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack.. I told him I want you for Christmas.

   I got an iPod for Christmas, gave my son an iPad, gave my gf an iRon

   I don't care what kinda lighter you have, its fair game if its unattended. Unless its engraved, then I'll give it back for Christmas.

   A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa send me your mother

   Decided I wanted solid abs this year for Christmas. Bought all solid milk chocolate Santas instead of hollow ones.

   dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.

   just met a lot of people who will corner the market on coal this Christmas.

   Whew.....I am officially done wrapping all of my presents for Christmas in 2011. Thank you 'person who thought of re-gifting'

   Merry Half-Christmas! Enjoy the holiday, everyone.....

   I saved a lot of money this Christmas by switching to single....

   When you order your coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is "Merry Christmas"

   My girlfriend called me sad because I always plan things months in advance. That's her off my Christmas card list!

   during the local christmas parade tonight, the local hospital had a float that read "more than a hospital"...yeah, they're also a morgue

   Please tell me there is not a game of naming one thing you want from now til Christmas