love Funny Status Messages

   5 years ago I met my wife, the love of my life and my baby momma. It was awkward at first, but they all seem to be getting along now.

   Nothing says "Love" like having a ShamWow tossed at your genitals after having sex.

   I love people who gossip behind my back... that's just where they belong, behind ME!

   Someone asked me how much love was worth and I couldn't answer because alimony is calculated differently in each state.

   I really love my new tattoo. "No pain, no g"

   He’s a one eyed optometrist with a cauliflower addiction. She hunts babies for sport. But could a chance Christmas encounter mean a forever love blossoms. Find out this Saturday on The Hallmark Channel.

   Come on people now Smile on your brother Everybody get together Try to love one another Right now

   Guys don't post stuff like ☆ BEAUTIFUL☆ FATHER☆ AWARD ☆ on eachouther's walls with the whole ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ crap after it.  We show each other love by posting, "Dude, you're an ass!"  

   How can I explain Your love And how it turns my world up side down

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.

   If you don't take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?

   Drunk love is better than crazy love.

   Of all the people I don't love, I don't love you the most.

   At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. At the touch of beer, everyone becomes a superhero.

   Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life

   I love cloning as much as the next guy. Who is also me.

   I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.

   Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??

   True love means being with someone want to see you get ahead in life by waiting until February 15th to get their flowers in candy at 50% off.

   I need everyone to reach into the bottoms of your hearts and send me all your love, good vibes and support at this time. Oh and don't worry nothing's wrong, In fact everything is going great! and just figure why wait to ask until things go wrong.