Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Arguing on facebook is like the special olympics, even if you win your still retarded

   #He said the reporter didn't have the brains they were born with? Ha ha ha. If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

   The story of People of Lut (or Lot) has been preserved for these exact times. To serve as reminder to us what the end result of People of Sodom & Gomorrah (pure destruction) for their deviant/foridden sexual practices. Our Maker has warned from such sins

   Jesus is so important, that the calendar we use, the Gregorian Calendar, is internationally the most widely accepted calendar throughout the world. And it's based on His birth. Not Darwin's.

   If I was prone to getting emotionally invested in a make believe world of words with no validity, I'd probably be more of a church-goer too

   Happy 75th Birthday,Elvis!

   I bet Adele sweats gravy.

   20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs... Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.

   two young boys are lying in a snow bank outside of church with their pants down. when asked what they were doing they said "father likes a couple cold ones before mass begins"

   Obama killed Osama and WE'RE getting the 72 versions.

   It sucks when you walk into a room, and you can't remember what you went in there for, so then you leave, then a few minutes later you remember that you're a fireman, and a bunch of people just died.

   Can't wait to celebrate James Earl Ray Day this Monday....

   Dear God.. If that cat puke on the floor disapears in the next 5 minutes, then I will except Jesus as my savior. Amen

   so since Obama is president, does that make it an obamanation?

   After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?

   If you need an assault rifle with 30, 50, or 90 round clips to protect yourself maybe you just suck at protecting yourself.

   in trouble for moving all the bibles to the fiction section at Barnes 'N Noble

   Be careful what you pray for: you just might get it. Kidding! Prayer doesn’t work.

   In the 90's we had Clinton in office. We also had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now we have Obama in office and we have no hope and no cash.

   whats the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered womens shelter? The dishes if she knows what good for her!