Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   RIP Mandela. I watched and loved all your movies.

   Happy Valentines Day baby, just to prove my love to you I am going to take you to Red Lobster today for lunch and let you get appetizers and shiattt

   DINGLE BERRY: A small piece of poo clinging for dear life on the ass hair like it's the gym rope.

   Dinner for two at a fancy restaurant $75, A bottle of wine and scented candles $30, Finding out she swallows...Priceless

   I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she's not that ugly

   decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

   L.I.F.E. = L.ive I.t F.ully E.veryday

   Do those Jehovah Witness guys on the bicycles ride south for the winter? Hadn't seen them in awhile.

   Falling In Love With You Is The Second Best Thing I Have Done .. Finding You Is The First ♥ ..

   <--still thinks that chick on the Progressive Insurance commercials is HAWT!

   Forget the $1,200 stimulus check. I rather get a dollar for every lie he has told us.

   RIP Nelson Mandela. Your "I Have A Dream" speech was an inspiration to us all.

   Come on Issac, the convention is about to start, don't let us down.

   Belichick, Brady, & Tebow: The NFL's Father, Son, & Holy Ghost.

   I go for religious girls cause if they believe that stuff imagine what you can get them to do.

   Id rather have Covid-19 than Trump-2020

   in Napa Valley looking for wine, but should be in the midwest, talking to Repubicans cause no one whines line a Repubilcan.

   Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit !!!!!

   A new study found that about one percent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 percent are sick of having to hear about it.

   I am having the best day of my life and I owe it all to not going to church!!!