Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just sent his buddies to The Blue Oyster to pick up chicks. LOL...are they in for a surprise!

   If you smell cheese and see pizza ur hungry. If you smell cheese and see feet ur disgusted. Now make up ur mind will ya! Either you like the smell of cheese or not.

   heard on the news that Justin Bieber won like 2 million awards last night but he's only sold 4 CDs. wtf?

   I can hardly stand the wait, please christmas don't be late!!

   It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look without the beer googles.

   Once they learn how to prevent pizza rolls from exploding out molten hot lava, then I'll believe in the ability if science.

   you can get whatever you want in this life if you have self confidence,determination...and an AK-47 wz unlimited ammo..

   I wonder if the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks by claiming all his appendages were "elephant-sized".....

   if a fly didn't have wings, would it be called "walk" ?

   thinks that the Waltons take way too long to say good night!

   I really think that one whom sratches his or her own ass, should not bite their Fingernails

   Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

   When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

   drinking shots with Miley Cyrus! Hope she dosent make a song about it.

   Rated E for every one!!! wait.......

   t is my sincere hope that your day is full of love and that you are a positive influence on the people who look up to you. It is also my sincere hope that Perez Hilton pours kerosone all over himself, down his throat and in his socks & immolates himself

   To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows presidential potential.

   Where the heck is that "Polka" button Facebook that everyone keeps talking about?! I have my accordian and am ready to boogie.

   Value has a value ONLY if its value is valued . . .

   If you cant beat them, put a few drops of Visine in their coffee.